Ikea: Swedish for Common Sense?

Ikea is the devil. There is no other way to describe this experience. There is the wry smile and grimace at the same time. It is the illusion of common sense and practicality that lures you into that blue and yellow box. It is the nuance of child friendly and family sensible that makes it attractive. Oh yes, the devil comes in many shapes and Ikea is one of them.

Days before the "Ikea stop" I had plotted and measured out the spaces that required adjustment or tweaking. I really like the Expedit series of shelving as it accommodates books, art supplies, fish tanks and clothing and Dvd's and so on and so on. The versitility of the shelving makes it ideal for the children's rooms and the toy area in the basement. After plotting and scheming, I began the chore of clearing space for it. Copious amounts of garbage bags filled with clothing and unwanted stuff left the building. I even smuggled extra garbage bags into my neighbors bins to make room. Breathing a sigh of satisfaction, I was ready to make the list.

Ikea has a tool that allows you to make a shopping list to facilitate your visit to make it smooth and trouble free. You can also draw out your room with measurements to ensure that you are doing the right thing. I had the list made and budgeted. I knew EXACTLY what was needed to make this smooth and simple.

On entry to IKEA, we had to ensure that they were under the height requirements for the toy room. They allow you one hour to have your children supervised while you complete your list. Most parents gleefully race up the escalator and begin to shop. They have lovely displays that are designed to inspire you to furnish your entire house with space effective storage solutions and trendy color palettes. I didn't get distracted, I went straight to the shelving. And then it happened. "What about this?" "I wonder if there is space for that?" "Are you sure?" (For the record, schlepping boxes is NOT fun, so YES I am sure!")

Except, I forgot my cell phone. Being that I was running late, I thought it wise to contact my family to let them know that I was lost in IKEA. I tried to get out the way I had come in but to no avail. Frustrated, I had to go all the way out to the checkout stand, out to the van to get my phone. I made the call and wandered back in to find my cart. 30 minutes has gone by. I then tried to find the boxes for the shelving. There were so many more choices than were online so I stopped and began to rethink my plan. Distracted, I noticed the kitchen stuff and added some to the basket. Then, I added some shelves. Then, I added some smaller baskets and bins. No, not on the list. But yes, very very practical for my artist.

Now, I am out of time so I have to try and find the toy room. This room is not signed and the short cuts just kept taking me in circles. I was so frustrated and annoyed. Ikea does this so that you see all the shiny things. Eventually, with the children in tow, I got back to the boxes and loaded up a cart. Then, I found the boxes and four trolley's later, we pushed them outside all paid for. Ikea is the devil. Over budget and with more than I had thought I needed, we loaded up. Thank goodness for Ikea's helpful clerks, I never noticed that I left a whole trolley full of my Drona boxes behind. Hiss spit.

Between family and friends there has been two days of construction and furniture shuffling. The rooms are taking shape and overall, I think it was a good idea. However, I have placed an online order for more boxes and stuff that I forgot, due here on March 18th. I have muscles that are making me notice them and I have taken more advil for headaches in the past two days than I did all month. (And you know what I thought of February!)

Ikea is sensory stimulation and overload. It is having to think your way out of a paper bag the instant that you lose focus and get distracted. It is having to have the time management plan of an executive organizer. It is about having the willpower to avoid the treats. It is a testament to your own internal GPS and navigational skills to get out of there in a reasonable time frame. Ikea is the devil. Temptations abound and common sense goes out the window within the Blue and Yellow. I spent way more money than I should have and still haven't had the time to regret it.

After all, Ikea has very nice stuff.