Ramblings of a Mom whose Kids are Growing Up.

Fire. "Mom, this would be so much more entertaining if there was real fire." The dancer with the magic wand on the stage at Circus Terrifico just wasn't catching her attention at all. In good faith, I had bought tickets to see something that I assumed would be like cirque du soleil - just lower key. Instead, it was a ballet with bits of circus thrown in as a back drop. With two kids that dance, you roll with it, but fire? Really? I don't think she got much out of it. However, it was a cute family thing to do together and that is never a bad thing.

The thing is as a parent and a friend, I opt to try and make the most of my opportunities. I love to encourage and experiment and try new things. Cultural events? Sign me up. Sports - lets try that too. Travel someplace exotic or different, absolutely. One of the things that I need to figure out soon is what to do when the girls really don't like something that is by way of an experiment. Left to her own devices, my youngest would have happily walked out of the theatre and only stayed as I suggested that it would be rude to the other viewers and performers on stage to leave midway. When do they get to make their own choices about such things? When is it a better choice to let them opt out? After all, if a movie is terrible we can walk out right away or change the channel. Flip - it is easy.

With the age that the children are at, we are having a lot of discussion about courtesy and respect. We are talking about positive self esteem and trying to celebrate all the good things. That doesn't mean we ignore the bad, but it doesn't become a never ending negative. If there is something that needs a solution, we talk about it and try different methods to fix it. If math is a problem, I will work with you until it is understood. If spelling is an issue, we will add more reading and more practise. If friends are an issue, we talk about behaviours that will encourage friendship. Issues don't mean that you get to have a petty meltdown and go hide in the corner. My eldest especially is the best dramatic sulker ever! She also has the warmest heart and is the most open to loving words of encouragement. My youngest is sassy and pushes people away when she is upset. We sometimes have to struggle to find the core reason as to why she is hiding out, and most of the time, it can be resolved by validating her feelings.

Right now, my eldest has the opportunity to go away for a week to learn about communication and self awareness through a summer camp. The location is 8 hours away and I still have to work that week. I know she is ready to do this work and have some real fun away from me, but how do I find the ability to let her go and stand on her own feet? In some ways - this is the hardest parenting decision yet - but it still seems to be the right one. She will go, be amazing and grow up. I have to let her. (I really don't want to. I want to snuggle my precious girl and keep her home under my eye.) What if the adults pretend to invest in her and don't mean it? What if the kids leave her out? What if she wakes in the middle of the night and there is no one there? What then...? What if she gets sick? Who will be there? (Yes, I am an over protective mess. However, the adults in her world this year have been interestingly amazing on one hand and disappointing on the other.)

My youngest is growing up too fast too. I am no longer required to read stories. In fact, she will read them to me. Her independence is incredible and yet, I miss the days that she would hold my hand or want snuggles at bedtime. I miss singing songs in the bath - she handles her own now. She delights in creative play and dress up but no longer needs me by her side. Sometimes, I revel in the freedom to get stuff done, but others...not so much.

There are so many opportunities to spend time with people and build them up. I am indulging this with my girls as much as possible as they are at that age where I am realizing that I don't have that much more time to shape their thoughts into positive thinking and self confident appreciation of who they are. I am realizing that I can't focus on the foolishness of outside influences and just have to teach them to love themselves where they are at (report cards are the worst/best thing ever?). In addition, there are the opportunities to travel and see and experience life both here and away. I intend to ensure that they know that there is so much more to learn about the world than what is in their own back yard. I love letting them plan and budget for days out. They come up with things that I never would.

Today was a day that I think I chose an under appreciated thing. Lesson learned on both sides, however, it won't stop me from the next one. Peter Pan - we will see you in April as the tickets are already purchased. However, I will be asking for an opinion on the next show or activity. Apparently, the girls are old enough to have a say too.