Hooliganting: The Elephant in the Room: Pondering Grief

Hooliganting: The Elephant in the Room: Pondering Grief: It is midnight. The house is quiet. Facebook has been meandered through. Chores done and life is pretty normal. Except it isn't. Not for...

The Elephant in the Room: Pondering Grief

It is midnight. The house is quiet. Facebook has been meandered through. Chores done and life is pretty normal. Except it isn't. Not for me, not for a huge number of people that live here. We lost one our own and I am still catching myself thinking about the family left behind and wondering.

First, this was someone who was gone too soon. Secondly, the loss takes me to places that I thought I had already coped with. The accident mirrored drastically the passing of a close family friend when I was turning 17. It was my birthday and the world went dark. The community was swept into grieving the loss of a 14 year old as a mine shaft caved in where I grew up. My brothers were spared...just. The media storm and the commentary was tragic and devestating. It would have been much worse in today's modern world. Like then, it is now...a community mourns.

The thing that bothers me is that I can't fix this. I can't say anything other than offer quiet sympathy. But there is more to the grieving process. Do we send the flowers on valentines day to show we remember and we care? Will someone take care of the birthday and anniversary that were his to surprise and spoil her on? Will the kids be OK? Does she know from within that dark space of mind at three am that all she needs to do is call and we will be there? I am on the fringe...and I hate the thought of this cheerful, fun-loving dedicated family being wounded. It sucks. It is the elephant in the room.

And yet, I still have the nightly terrors that flash it all back to 1989. Is it valid to acknowledge that or do I stuff that down into the abyss again? Brushed under the carpet is helping me any, but yet it was so long ago that no one really wants to go there. To be fair, I don't. It is the smells, the sounds, a turn of phrase...it is the laughter and bad jokes...it is the not knowing WHY or HOW...and the helplessness of being able to do NOTHING useful.

So, it is midnight. I am exhausted. I don't want to go to bed because I hate what I find there. The dark is not my friend. And out of respect, I am not posting this one to Facebook as that is not the place for this. Ideas on solving insomnia are welcome.

Hooliganting: The Nature of My Oil Sands

Hooliganting: The Nature of My Oil Sands: Living in the frozen north, I think that eventually I get to a point where my mind goes numb. There have been so many things that are going ...

The Nature of My Oil Sands

Living in the frozen north, I think that eventually I get to a point where my mind goes numb. There have been so many things that are going on and yet, finding the time to write seems to be diminshed. I have scrapbooked, visited family, worked and as you can tell, I am working hard at this because for the life of me, I CANNOT remember the darned password to the cloud. It forced me to change it at the end of the day on Wednesday and now - I am stuck. So, break time it is.

Now, some of the biggest posts around Facebook seem to be about Neil Young and Blue Rodeo and their skewed and biased take on the oil sands. Because I know that so many of you have no idea about where I live because you are all far away, I felt inspired to write my own debate response. They referred to my home as being like Hiroshima. Hiroshima? Really? That is insulting to those of us who live here AND to the Japanese that experienced that. I can't imagine oil sands being the same thing as a wasteland of human life and mortality. Have you ever seen a smog map? The air in and around Wood Buffalo is reasonably clear considering the industry. Try looking across the USA, it isn't as nice. Our community is isolated and uniquely challenged. No industry is pretty, I get that. However, please note that the oil was in the water BEFORE people moved here. There are pictures of aboriginal children playing in the river with oily water lapping their legs from the early 1900's. With the sustainable reclaimation programs, I would argue that in some ways, the land is cleaner now and that our companies are mandated to reclaim the land, spending billions on it.  But what would I know? I just live here, camp in the woods, canoe on the river, work in the tourism sector, and raise my kids.

Just as an example, I went skiing today. I drove a short 30 minutes to Vista Ridge and this is what I got to see today.

I have been camping. and attended special events like the Fire Fighters community breakfast and demonstrations.

 I have been walking through the birchwood trails that I love. It is beautiful here.

So, before you trounce a community that I have to live in, respect and appreciate for the good, bad and ugly. Perhaps don't take the oils sands sponsorship for your concerts, or the oils sands money that paid for the tickets. Perhaps you shouldn't be a hypocrite...look in your own back door.

That being said, there have been so many other funny moments this week. All point to the blatant silliness of people. In our community, they do snow removal. Three days before they put out signs that say no parking due to street maintenance. These signs are placed at all intersections and along the roads, and are very hard to miss judging from the number of times cars actually run them over. So, I gleefully took this picture of the people being ticketed and towed for simply not reading the sign or thinking that it didn't apply to them. With all the snow, we need it cleared. People, get out of the way.

The sign is located by the edge of the image and by the far tree. The city is making money. Lol.

What else? Oh, we have had the leaking roof tops and the wind storm. We have had the car break downs and people in the ditch due to icy conditions. There have been the first week back at school shennangians but all of these things are just life. Life anywhere in any place will have some of the same hiccups. Bottom line: do the best you can with what you have. Be positive in your experience and if you don't like it, don't come here and leave us alone. We are just fine thank you. In the north, this is the nature of things and we like it.

Not a smog cloud in the sky.