Kids: You did WHAT? Why?

After working in the fast paced waterlogged snowmelt one, of a post flood museum, sometimes I find that my brain is tired. I caught myself putting the coffee into the fridge today and knew that perhaps more sleep might be in order. Nonetheless, today was also the day of the dance run. One of those days...

I enjoy children in all their wacky phases, although as you know, I have moments that challenge my perceptions of what children are really like. Over the past couple of weeks, there have been some incredible moments that have pulled on my heart strings and caught my breath. Like the note on my mirror...

"Mommy, what can I get for you today. Hot Water with lemon. Or your lady tea. Check box and writ back on my mirror. Love your dauter." (sic)

That was awesome. Or the thrill that my youngest had when I handed her an American Girl publication on Feelings and dealing with your emotions. I got the largest warm fuzzy and smiles. She even read it aloud in the van.

These are the moments that I treasure.

On the flip side, there are the moments that really make you wonder how it is that you came to be having such a strange conversation. Here are some from the past couple of days that either had me rolling my eyes or howling with laughter. Of course, the expression on my face was grave and serious at the time...

1) Child is practicing dance and turns and kicks sister in the head. Hard. I stare in stunned disbelief and then proceed to administer justice. Text to parents of said siblings and words of chastisement to children.This is an eye roll moment. Can't believe that I am having this conversation. This is followed up by a heart string moment when my eldest creates an art project to make the two in question feel better.

2) My youngest decides to slide down an icy snow bank on her knees and wonders why a) there are holes in her pant knees, b) why she has bruises on her knees and c) why she is soaking wet. Ummm really?

3) Ghosts. Elder "not my kid my kid" decides to ask what a poltergeist is. I explain about ghost theory and the types of ghosts portrayed in literature and film. Younger not my kid my kid from a different family sharply says "there are no such thing as ghosts." Debate ensues...as spirits are portrayed in the Bible as being good Angels or bad spirits which fits in with religious philosophy. Conflict rages between the children while I tried to referee all points of view on well...ghosts, angels, devils and the afterlife...all on a 20 minute drive with 6 children. Peeves from Harry Potter - you are responsible. Wow.

4) Child drops pineapple on floor. Which is worse? To invoke the 5 second rule or wash it? Did I know how much bacteria is in the water? Did I know that the sink was in the bathroom? Do I realize what people do in a bathroom. There are GERMS in there. Ummmm....maybe the muddy floor is better? What do I know? Garbage it was...hunger was better.

Then, you get into the really interesting stuff...the stuff that you never even thought of as it wouldn't make sense to an adult...EVER. Except, once it is explained...it almost does. Note the almost.

1) Storing clean clothes in the laundry basket so that they are easier to find, rather than having to go through the drawers. If I happen to wash them, then they are twice as clean...
                My head hurts on this one.
2) Not bothering to learn how to spell as it won't be important in high school anyway. Isn't that what spell check is for? Math gets the same logic. Insert the word calculator here.
3) Using the school skipping ropes as transportation devices for toys, clothes and ...live cat from floor to floor to save time. Never minding the mess that is made when the baskets tip etc. These same ropes are used for leashes, locks and fort racks, but rarely for actual skipping. Jump Rope for Heart...I don't need anymore skipping ropes in the house. Why? Because we were told to recycle at work and the ropes are being useful.
4) Art projects that require all your baking goods to create pastes, potions and serums. Being expected to sample them is the worst...sigh. Why? To make you have more energy.
5) Cleaning the bathroom with toothpaste to get a minty fresh scent. It cleans teeth so why not toilets? Sit on the seat...I dare you. Why? The cleaning ladies missed a spot.
6) Putting the alarm clock under the bed to muffle the sound so it is not annoying. Why? I need more sleep. The thought of going to bed on time doesn't seem to occur to them.

That is all from the past couple of days that I can remember. Children are delightful but challenging to the imagination. Tomorrow is another adventure. I wonder what I will do then?