The Art of the Flop

It's an odd title I suppose. I am calling the flop art. There is a distinct flop that everyone perfects over time. That is the flop into bed. You can flop and roll, flop and drop, flop and bounce, plain flop....whatever you choose. What I find so amusing is watching it all unfold in the confines of the Brick's sleep department.

Of course, that was the game of the day. I have been so sick and tired of sleeping on the same sagging mattress that I finally decided to bite the bullet and divert into the Brick. As I walked in, there was the magical red and white signs that annnounced the Sale. Oh the lure of the Sale. Everything was on sale for an inventory blow out.

In my mind, for an instant, I was sticking with the game plan of research. I was going to sample the mattresses to get a sense of what I wanted and then price shop. Ok, I had already done a lot of that online but still...I was going to sensible. Arriving at the Sleep department with all the mattresses, I flopped backwards onto the mattress that I thought I wanted. Flop, bounce, groan. That will never do.

The sales lady comes over and points me in the direction of the most expensive mattress on the floor. To humor her, I wandered over to the Trump mattress deluxe, turned and flopped. Squish, roll, pillowy comfort...I don't want to move. Oh she wins! No, I must price compare and shop sensibly. I dragged my reluctant self off the bed and proceeded to sit and bounce on all the beds. Ones that were possible got another sample flop.

You have to imagine that the lure of the sale has other victims too. There are those that are flopping and rolling and gently resting on the beds around me. I have to be careful not to rush these gentler folk. You also have to imagine that my girls have found the bunkbeds and the car stroller and are only just not causing mayhem. They also found the controls to the vibrating temperpedic bed. (Spelling of that was optional). How do people sleep on a bed that vibrates anyway? It was beyond me - that flop was 10 seconds.

So, after trying all the beds and sampling a fair few pillows, it became blatently obvious. Flopping to best sample the beds is an art form. There are many shapes and sizes. Some push the envelope of comfort while others barely cause a ripple on the mattress. But, it is something that everyone does.

Oh and yes, the sales lady won. I ordered that bed. You know, the one with the most expensive price tag. I always seem to have expensive taste and this was no exception. Bye bye tax return...