Whodunnit?

I have broken out the tweed jacket. I have my pipe and the smoke is billowing out of the ashtipped end. Carefully, I place the bowler hat on my head and inspect...yes, the dectective is on the loose. Noiselessly, I start the investigation.

What am I looking for? Clues, of course! There are mysteries afoot everywhere in my humble abode. There was the bandit that drew crowns on the carpet. Perhaps there is a princess in the house? Maybe, it was the marker for buried treasure? There was the markings on the pavement in front of my van. P for parking in the glittery blue pen. Apparently, I needed more information to know where my van was supposed to be in relation to the sidewalk? There is the little red stick person figuring etched into the orange paint of my daughter's room. This figure has a delightful smiley face. Might I deduce that it is a reminder that little people live in the house? Or is it a reminder to invest in more magic erasers? The clues are mounting.

Add to this that there are ingredients for recipes that must be added to the clue box. There are frosted flakes scattered along the floor in a pattern that is reminiscent of Hansel and Gretel. Funnily enough, it even proceeds in front of the oven, but it culminates in what looks like a spilt box on the back deck sofa and tables. There is water for soup in a red bucket, and flooding the grass in the back garden. Add to that mixture some cheerios, grass, dirt and watermelon, and I think some chef was transpiring to add more fibre to their diet. There are also frosted flakes out on the driveway.

Back in the house, I find a trail of pink and white feathers. They are located along the floors and stairs and float with the wind every time the doors open in the house. There are dresses strung from the banisters. At the top of the stairs, there are some markers and coloring materials. Interesting. All this creativity and design, but no bandits to be seen. Further inspection shows that there are scissor marks in the curtains and older ink marks on the fabric of comforters and clothing. Hmmmm.

Turning my attention to the audio senses, I progressed outside to find three "singing" girls promenading along the pathways. They are loud and totally incomprehensible. BANDITS! I have found the bandits. You might be deceived by these stealthy beings that create such havoc in our world. They have hats and feather boas, and sport high heels. Flouncing along in flowing scarves and shawls, they are adventuring to the best of their ability. Little do they know nemesis is coming their way.

I apprehended those wee bandits and called them into account for their nefarious doings of the days prior up to the moment. I was flabbergasted to learn that "no one" was responsible, that "I don't know" must have been in the house. "Not me" was defended by the bandits and shoulders were shrugged all round. The blond bandit was rescued by her father who was willing to ransom her on the grounds that I wouldn't have to feed her supper. Mine on the other hand, were on the hook for cleanup despite claims to having nothing to do with the mess.

What I found absolutely fascinating from my investigation can be found in the following conclusions.
1) What takes five minutes to mess, takes five hours to clean.
2) Making up explanations is a team sport.
3) Not one of them tried a simple "I'm sorry."
4) When stared down, they offered more information that spoke more of their guilty consciences.
5) Parenting is way more tiring that going to work for the day.

How long is summer vacation this year? I'm not sure I'm ready for it yet.