The Silence is Deafening

It is one of those moments in my life where there is so much noise, chaos and stuff happening in an around my life that the silence is deafening. What silence? There is no silence per say. I do, however, mean what I say.

Life has hit full throttle again after the Christmas holidays. I don't mind the busyness, the driving, the dancing and the stuff that entertains me through the days. But there are those worries that I can't just shove out of my mind. Worries that the children will be doing alright in school, make friends, get decent grades. There is the constant juggling of schedules, activites and work. But once in awhile, you have those days that things just go wrong despite your best planning.

I had the pleasure of my keys going home in the children's dance bag after their yoga class. I had stayed to experince Zumba since Tap was cancelled. Everyone had left the building and still, I needed a friend to collect my keys and bring them to me. Other friends had already been enlisted for help to fix my furnace that apparently decided that after weeks of balmy spring like weather, that it would blow the motor. The furnace went just as temperatures plummeted. I am so grateful for my friends that bail me out of circumstances that are completely assinine.

Now, you also need to know that it was extremely icy out due to copious amounts of freezing rain. I had already slipped and done myself some damage. Not to be outdone, my friend slithered and sprawled twice. That meant that to recuperate, we had coffee. Ok, we were going to anyway, but now we felt like we deserved our Tim Horton's double double. We drove in, strolled to the counter and waited for a nanosecond for service. In our city, that is unbelievable. Hot coffee. Yum.

The day was really a comedy of errors, but for me...the icing on the cake came when I got into my house. My eyes scanned the horizon and was appalled by what I saw. Sheer disaster. Why is it, that I can ask for help, give lists of chores that I expect my girls to do, and suddenly, the household is deaf. I spend hours looking for things that the girls need for activities and that get put away in ludicrous spaces. Yesterday, it was dance wear. Today, I found the snowpants still outside. Really? Library books, disc drives, keys oh yes the keys. And thank you to the friend that gave me the key ring "Keys I haven't lost yet" ...complete misnomer.

Yes...as everyone else in the household snores...including the cat...I prowl. I troll the house. I freak out inside my head in sheer frustration. I think all the bad words that I shouldn't ever say in front of public company. I rage and I fume. The silence is deafening. Once in awhile, I do have to wake up the girls for help in finding the lost things and give them a bit of my unvarnished opinion. Yesterday, was one of those days. I still haven't found everything they were supposed to have for school today. Yep...that the sound of silence again. I have heard I don't know, I didn't do it, I haven't seen it, I didn't touch it, etc....and I have seen the straight up blank stare. I have seen the pitying glances of those people that think I have lost my mind as I clamber through the van for the upteenth time looking for a matching mitten or a lost shoe. The silence is deafening.

In my head, I am wondering:

What am I doing wrong?
What do I have to do to be heard?
What can I do differently?


I feel a declutter coming on. Anyone want to argue the point? Oh, you are sleeping. Guess you don't mind then. The silence is deafening.