Wednesday, April 13, 2011

NO SASS CAMPAIGN

Just in case you needed a reason to feel better about your parenting skills, I thought I would open the door to the latest drama unfolding in our household. In this house, there are girls. Where there are girls, you get more girls playing and hanging out. These girls have the odd boy that either voluntarily or is voluntold to play nicely with the aforementioned girls. The children are everywhere these days. In their rooms, in the basement, out on their bikes, at the schools, at dance and everywhere.

The activity level is great. They are running full tilt and expending all their energy. They are doing well at school for the most part and have friends that they love to play with. And all is well for awhile, but then....they start to talk. The conversations are invariably telling someone how to play their toy, what to do next in a game or how to feel in any given situation. I realize that they believe that they are the centre of the universe because well, that is just being a kid. The problem is when they all want to be the centre of the universe at the same time.

I have an issue. We have reached the stage when the parents are not necessarily the first point of command. We have reached the age when they have learned to modulate the tone of voice in such as way as we get the singsong taunts and stubborn repetition of information in order to make sure that they are heard. What they haven't figured out yet, is that if they are heard, they all get in trouble...in spades.

Today's numerous taunts, tattles, discussions, comments or however else you want to describe the information that was both spoken directly to me or around me, or within earshot of me, had me dealing with each issue as it came along. The result being the now official NO SASS CAMPAIGN. This means that I have power to take away treats, enforce extra homework and make life the exact opposite of what they want to do as it suits me. This much, they understand.

The issue is the next comment that came from my 8 year old. "But mom, I wasn't talking sass. All day I have been using my nice voice and polite voice. You just weren't listening." I reviewed all the incidents and she argued in each case that she wasn't taunting. It sure sounded different to me. So, now we are going to have to work on tone and inflections in a child that honestly doesn't seem to get the concept in the first place.

I am thinking that I might have just started a losing campaign. It will cost much time, energy and patience. It is going to mean careful listening and constant rephrasing. Oh what have I done? I am already stressed and panicking about it. To make matters even more complicated....we are surrounded by children that insist that fair play is involved. So, this means all kids will have to have the same implications. I foresee writing nice comment cards in my future. My head is in my hands and I am alternating between chuckling and groaning in despair.

For those that want to know: Rules of the No Sass Campaign
1) Thou shalt not taunt, tease or disrespect thy elders, friends or other people near you.
2) Thou shalt apologize once for any infraction caused to someone else.
3) Thou shalt accept an apology without fuss the FIRST time.
4) Thou shalt not argue with thy parent.
5) Thou shalt accept that if thy parent has not answered you right away, that they have the right to think about their answer. You don't get to ask again.
6)Thou shalt not ask the same question of both parents. Rephrasing is still reasking.
7) Thou shalt accept that other people get to be the boss in games sometimes. If no cooperation ensues, a boss timetable operated by a parent will be enforced.
8) If you are rude and sassy, you will lose privileges. It will always be the best thing that the parent can think of.
9) Thou shalt accept that parents don't like homework either. The more you complain, the less we like it and the longer it lasts. We will reward quickly completed homework. Bed follows long homework sessions immediately, no exceptions. (This also means no snack).
10) Parents reserve the right to put any other responsible adult in charge who also have the right to implement the above rules.

Qualifier: These rules have ALWAYS existed...we are just tired of repeating the verbal version of this!

Now, if only they could read....Sigh

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