Taking All the Time in the World

Living life in the moment is not as easy as it sounds. Remarkably, I have been living life full throttle and intend to continue to do so but now and then, I slow down to think, to ponder and take all the time in the world. It might not look like it, in fact I am sure that it doesn't, but I do.

Tomorrow, the great adventures of Florida begin for me and my extended family and friends. I have been plotting and scheming activities and suitcases. I have slowly packed and repacked until I minimized the luggage and maximized the timeline to still allow for relaxing time. The house is going to be well tended and is clean, and for the moment, all those pesky details like laundry and dishes are done. I usually pack the night before but this time, I have taken two weeks to sort and think.

I have taken time by making appointments with myself to go to the gym and dance, despite the workload and knowing that I need to put more time in at the office. The girls and I had a whole weekend at a hip hop dance convention last weekend that stretched the muscles, mind and imagination. By the end of the weekend, we had learned about house, hip hop, breaking, popping, video choreo versus stage shows and freestyle battles. Wow. Surrounded by talent, I loved the teaching and gentle instruction that was offered. This was time that I borrowed for myself to learn and dance. There is something about the sheer joy of movement and musicality that I appreciate and love. There is a reason that while at Starbucks for coffee, I accidently found myself dancing. Blushing, I said thank you when another lady commented "I like your groove." I hadn't even realized I was dancing in the line. Through dance and the gym, I am focusing on health and mental well being. It is a priority that only happens when I take the time. And it is the easiest time to give away to those that want it.

Sometimes, the to do list can wait. I have taken some time away from writing even, which usually relaxes me and helps me to process my thoughts. However, my usually quirky organized self has had some issues with thinking happy thoughts and quite frankly, I don't usually share the darker shades of blue. Instead, I decided that it was OK to take the time to think and to ponder life. Life is fluid, and full of changes. I have been watching the Canadians participate in the Olympics and have seen some incredible things. I love it when an athlete does their best. The ski being given by the Canadian coach to the Russian skier was amazing. The story of the Swiss skier waiting for the Peruvian skier to finish was tear jerking for me. The sportsmanship and drive is wonderful to watch while the freestyle and snowboarding sports are fun to watch for the tricks and commentary. Only in Canada does our silver medalist apologize. (Read the book How to Be A Canadian by Will Ferguson sometime - there is a whole chapter on how Canadians say sorry). It was a SILVER MEDAL. YAY! I certainly couldn't do it.

Despite the stress of my work week and trying to get ready for a big trip, I still took time with my family to watch my friends' young ladies perform in Les Miserables. The music of the show with the fabulous community acting was tremendous. Sometimes, by being supportive, you are richly blessed and for our town, this was truly a triumph of hard work and dedication. My youngest asked good historical questions and my eldest was fascinated by the sets. In addition, there was an art show and we spent time looking at the lovely prints. My artistic child was so fascinated by one print that it seemed to belong to us, and now it is on our wall. It was titled Corsage from the Secret Garden exhibition.

I think the point is as the winter cold and chills take their toll, and as I have witnessed a wonderful woman navigate her way through grief, and seen others struggle a bit this winter, I have learned the value of thinking things through. For example, before posting lyrics to a fb page, I really listened to my instincts and thought about it for three days before deciding that the message was too good not to share. The words were so resonant with me, that I shared. I have owned my mistakes, and I have made a concious effort to look for the high road. Do or do not, there is no try. Advice has been taken freely and used. I have wise and amazing friends that I really love and appreciate for who they are and as for my girls, sometimes I learn so much from them.

In a wretched debate with my eldest this evening, I found myself losing. She hates her elastics for her braces. They are to be worn when not engaged in eating or sports. The debate raged over breaking the jaw and headgear versus elastics, to which she said she liked her teeth the way they are. Money and health were discussed with vim and the educational qualifications of the orthodontist were showcased to no avail. After all, she doesn't have to wear them for sports. When I stared blankly at her, I was told in no uncertain terms why she didn't have to wear them.

"Life is a Sport."

Ummmm....yeah....I need to think about this some more.

Mom?

Battle of the Bulge or Luggage with Teeth?

I had plans for my afternoon. Really truly grown up plans that involved reading a book that has been sitting on the counter, sipping a cup of tea and possibly doing a couple of hours of work in between loads of laundry. Instead, I walked past the hanger of two new closet bags that were intended to house dance costumes for the girls. With the best of intentions, I decided to do things differently this year and try a different brand of organized. 

WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?

I did the first truly awful thing. I opened the door to the dance cupboard, or sporting cupboard, it holds all the gear from all the stuff. It houses art supplies, shoes for all the things, flippers, goggles, swimsuits, costumes and dance wear, makeup and did I mention the shoes? There are things that hang and boxes. There is even an overflow bag for the things to be grow into or grown out of. In this particular instance, I opened it and got rained on. After pondering the situation, I sucked it up. The battle of the bulge was on!

I hauled everything out and dusted the floor. I sorted and I organized. The costumes were put into their bags with shoes, tights, stage makeup and the rest of the paraphernalia. I opened the bags, got bit by the zippers, and tried not to get offended when they dropped on my toes. The stuff that was too big is now on the top, but slowly order came to the closet. The luggage with teeth was banished back into the cupboard. The art supplies were stacked. The overflow bag is back in the cupboard.

Then I looked at the clock.

This one small cupboard has chewed up 2.5 hours. I have no time for my tea or book. I have just enough time to put on some laundry, grab the swim bag and the Thursday dance stuff and head back out the door. I don't know whether to sulk or be amused.

The worst part is that I wandered into the bathroom and the thought was PAINT. I should get the spackle and PAINT.

The battle of the bulge is over but the battle of the spackle is looming. Maybe not today, but the idea is there.

Please make it stop....????

The Full Monty

The first thing that comes to mind is? . . .Ok not that but yes, that movie is up for debate. You see, today I had one of those days that puzzles me. The time warp continuem crossed with my insane desire to do all things and be all things to everyone has jumped up and bitten me, and so I found myself almost thinking. I would suggest that I might have been thinking if I had time to think about anything at all. Are you confused yet? Good. Welcome to my world.

The door of my world opened up today to getting children up and dressed, ready in time to school when they are too tired and cranky to function thanks to Christmas Concert hooliganting last night. The snow was thick on the drive and the roads had sheens of ice as the van rock and rolled its way to school. Thanks to a heads up on bussing delays, I drove home to shovel the drive before rocking and rolling to the other school to drop off child two. Then my morning hit a lull as I scrapped with two friends. Cutting and pasting and recrafting images, and then ranting over the to do lists. By the way...this was not on my list.

So then it was time to get things moving again. I collected the first child and brought her home for lunch. I addressed cards and processed the list of who had moved and who needed cards and still working on who I have missed. If that is you, you need to tell me so I can fix it. Then, I had a couple of project related things to do. So I started by going to the grocery store to stand in line for an hour to get what I needed. One hour in, I had to leave to get the Grade 2 kids from school. The shopping was left in the store as the line was too long.

So, I have my children, but there is still much to do. I drop off one to the childcare as I have to go downtown. I line up at Tim Hortons for the coffee that needs delivery, and then drive to deliver it. The long line of traffic is the next line to navigate and finally the dance studio is in sight. That child goes to dance lessons while I park and go into the post office. You guessed it, I had to line up for another hour just to buy stamps and stop my post from coming during the holidays. I am not the best at getting to the mail box so it is simpler to not have delivery. This is still not my last line . .

I gathered Ailish up and hustled her to the gymnastics line, where we joined other long suffering parents who also line up every 3 months so that their children have the chance to be the next Nadia. Thankfully, Ailish was rescued and I continued to wait. I finished my evening with lining up at Extra Foods (to get stuff) and Walmart (to get stuff) and now the children are in bed and I am still sympathizing with those characters in the Full Monty's EI line.

At Walmart tonight, I finally got the stuff and I think I might nearly be done Christmas shopping. I could answer that in the definitive if I decided to think about it but it is definately too late to think about it. While in line, I caught myself shuffling my feet and tap dancing. People were swaying in the lines. Slipping their feet back and forth in time to Christmas music, people were trying to be patient as they waited for those cashiers to meet their needs. I couldn't help it. By this time, I was so tired and groggy, forgetful and really not with it, so the best thing my tired self could do was dance. What does that say about me? Do I even need an answer. So instead of resting, I am blogging.

At this moment, I am going to sleep. Good night and sweet dreams. Might I refer you to the Full Monty?

Oh dear . . .do you think she knows?

Have you ever signed up for something? That something that you thought you were really good at? Maybe even had a spark of talent for? Every now and then, I take time out to do things that make me feel good and accomplished. The problem is . . . I don't always know what those things are. Then there are those things that you sign up to do so that you can spend quality time with your friends and family. Spa appointments, dance classes, birthday parties, and gym memberships fall into that category. Finally, there are those volunteer commitments and have to sign up for or the good things don't happen sort of things. Those are things like the bake sales, cutting out weird shapes for scrapbooks, gluing progress reports and so on.

Tonight was one of those nights that makes you question the wisdom of your decisions. I went to my evening dance class and participated in all the routines. The more I practised, the worse I got. I was thinking about the previous mistakes while continuing to make more. The dark cloud of the performance looms in about three weeks. There are all those nuances to remember like where your hands go, left and right feet, bent knees, jumping low to the ground (sounds strange but is true), and what moves go with which music. My brain hurts. My body is cold and stiff. The worst part is that I really wanted to do well. Sigh. This is a moment where you know you have bitten off more than you can chew.

So, to console myself, I trundled off to Walmart to hooligant through the nothingness of the aisles and chat with friends. Politely, they shopped and did not refer to the previous episode. Three Christmas presents later and with feet that really were not made for walking, I finally decided that I was too tired. I had been walking into people, or falling into people. I had managed to forget to bring in shopping bags so had to remember to only purchase what I could carry in my hands. The joys of bagfree shopping in our communtiy.

Now, I am tired and sleepy. But due to the complete analysis of the mayhem that I have caused so far tonight, sleep itself seems to be a bit elusive. Let me see....

One two three four, step, open, close, open, guns turn slide, wiggle wiggle, shimmy shimmy shimmy and step sing...(and you wonder why I am so confused). Showtime in three weeks. . .I will have to keep you posted on that one and in the meantime . . .practise. Off I go