Spontaneous Moments: Don't Think

Don't think. Don't. I know you think that you want to think it over, think about things, plan, scheme it out, perhaps even plot. Don't. What is the worst thing that can happen?

Sometimes, there needs to be time for the unexpected, the unplanned. I love that air of uncertainty that comes with someone showing up unannounced. Or that moment that you decide to go for coffee and a friend tags along. Quality time doesn't have to be planned but it certainly needs to be appreciated when it is offered. After a rather challenging exploration of my workday, which including discovering that I missed a course that I was supposed to be at due to other work issues that came up and put that out of my mind, I was rather relieved to get to the gym and work out some of the kinks. It was zumba so I donned my brightest of orange and purple to cheer myself up. But it was the conversation afterwards and the spontaneous cuppa with another lady that soothed my mood back to some semblance of normal.

I came home to yet another friend. Awesome! She strummed music and chilled out while I basically sat back and relaxed. The best part was she had even parented the girls so I didn't have to. I just have to remember that the youngest is requiring a fort building lesson in structure and design. That won't be spontaneous...

School starts on Monday. It really does. Most people that know me understand that I am crazy and keep a hectic schedule in the hopes of maintaining a healthy lifestyle full of opportunities. Heaven forbid that I miss out on anything afterall. But the one thing that I appreciate most of all is the random acts of visiting. Random acts of tourism? Sometimes even that funny text message or facebook post. Not everything in my world is on the timetable, nor should it be.

How many of you have taken the time out of your day to reach out to someone else? There are those that I know that struggle with the everyday business of just seeing to their famililes. I appreciate that and try to meet them where they are at. On the otherhand, I know folks that just think that people will automatically know what they are thinking and don't bother to reach out. Do you remember how it feels to get a letter in the mail? A flower just because? A dinner invitation for no reason other than spending time?

Some of the best moments in life are the little things. You can drop in on someone for a quick 15 minutes and change their day for the better. By saying hello, you are saying that they matter. They are important. They are worth the time. And to be fair, that needs to go in reverse. If someone stops by, they need to be there. The TV show can wait. Dinner can be stretched. The children won't malfunction from being 10 minutes later to bed. Patience, empathy, friendship should never be discounted or forgotten about. By advocating the spontaneous moments, I am really asking people to appreciate the moments that so quickly pass most folk by.

If the impulse strikes you to call someone, spend time, do something about it...be spontaneous. Don't think.

Do.

You will be remembered and loved.
At least by me.

Random Acts of Visiting

In the moment of the morning, when I had finished at the gym, the voice to my left said "you coming?" I responded with "where?" And I was told "Tims." I glanced over and saw three of the regulars eying me and I grinned and said "sure, see you in a bit." That's how it starts.

This was not a planned event. It was just a random act of visiting, in the style that I adore. I spent a delightful hour of my morning chatting with some interesting ladies who all have news and stories to share. These ladies have very different backgrounds and personalities, and we met through working out at the gym. Most interestingly, we have learned how to have fun while being tortured together and the personalities are compatible. So, once the tea cup was emptied and was forlornly tossed into the garbage, we mosied on our ways.

I still had an hour before the school bus was to be met, so I decided to turn up on the doorstep of another lovely lady. Instead of painting her daughter's room deep purple, she took some time to spend quality conversational time with me. This time, the cup had hot water with lemon. There is only so much caffiene that my system can handle in a day. What fascinates me is that we are able to go from fashion to relationships, to children to holidays all in 45 minutes or less. But since that was all the time that either one of us had, I think that we were very efficient.

Now, normally I have had playdates scheduled, but with Miss K's sassy sore throat and the sheer lack of sleep that the girls have had with the longer daylight hours coming into play, I had decided somewhat to keep the girls to myself today. We did piano and school projects. There was some independent play and lunch thrown in but it was gorgeous today. So, we also went to the park where I ran into yet another friend. The children played and we briefly caught up. Ironically, I had spent two weeks trying to connect with her and now it happened by accident. Awesome! Sometimes, you are just meant to be where you end up. And the best part is that it was intellectually stimulating conversation too. I now have a few more ideas bubbling for Sunday School and some new ideas with connecting with the group of kids moving on up.

My day of random acts of visiting wasn't over though. Tonight turned into Yahtzee night at the house. More friends, company and conversation over coffee and tea...and those quirky dice. I confess that I lost! In fact, my score was only saved from being dismally appalling by a double Yahtzee in the last round. All in all, this was a great way to spend a day. No plan, but lots of fun.

Hermits and Me: My quieter side

In the grace of my whirlwind of a life, I have been taking a couple of days to ponder the "hermits" of my life. Funnily enough, my gregarious self loves a variety of company from the effervescent bubbliest of personalities to those that have quiter, calmer souls.

Thursday was my day of socializing over coffee, and no for the record...there was an equal amount of Starbucks mixed in with Tim Horton's. I am still chuckling over how many coffees and milk drinks I had that day. The best part was that was not my original plan for the day. I had friends show up unexpectedly. Impulse struck and I randomly dropped in on people. Impulse struck others who spoiled me with coffee delivery...to the dance studio no less.

I adore the people that are in my life. Most of the time, I am out and about, and busy. Need I mention the busy? So, I thought I would reflect on the "hermits" that I treasure. Some are home bodies due to necessity. Others are home bodies out of choice. These are the people that I can chat with over facebook, call on the phone and sometimes coax out of their shell to enjoy some outside the home stuff. I don't ignore their personal needs or space, I just choose to meet them where they are at.

The quiet conversations that I have with these folk are incredibly valuable. Due to the nature of these lovely gems of people, I have the pleasure of spending quality one on one with them, usually with coffee, tea or steamer in hand. I can visit their homes and be welcomed. These are the ones that thrive in small groups scrapbooking and where three people sometimes is a crowd.

There are a couple of my "hermits" that have illnesses of either physical, mental or both. For these ladies, I try to help with adding some normal into their days. Because of the joy that they give me, I don't mind long periods of silences. They know that I love them and will do what it takes to build them up. I know that a good day one day, doesn't translate into a good one the next. Appreciating their inner strengths and learning to celebrate their accomplishments is part of what I believe makes me a better person and friend. I have recieved so much from you, it would take a lifetime more than I have to show you that.

I have some "hermits" that just prefer the confines of their own space. Some folk just like their stuff and that gives me the opportunity to travel around the neighbourhoods dropping in on folk for fun. I like that a quick cuppa and conversation can jazz me up and leave me feeling refreshed. I hope that they feel the same. The threads of people that run through my world are fascinating.

However, I seem to be pondering hermiting myself. Sometimes, I like to be at home too. Sometimes I wonder why folks seem to expect me to call, drop in, and be out. I know that is what I do, and of course it make sense that people think that I will do what I do. I am being ridiculous. Through watching the peaceful nature of those that do settle into their environment, I wonder if I can manage that? I have never been one to stay home or spend long periods of time at home alone. Really, I can't stand it for more than an hour....tops. I enjoy the chaos of my world. But I wonder...sometimes I think I would benefit from taking the time to listen to the still small voice. I have had some reminders over the past few days as to how precious it is to take that individual time, to slow down and appreciate the home, and to love those "hermits" that came out of their shells for me this week. I have a fair few of you...more than I thought when I first started writing this...and each one of you has blessed my life richly. Thank you!

Out with the Old

Happy New Year. There. I said it...and I am satisfied with that. I can't guaruntee happiness after all. But I do wish everyone I know a peaceful and joyous year filled with wishes and dreams that come true. After all, the pessimists are saying that the world is going to end before next Christmas. Where is the fun in that? NASA debunked it today anyway.

The phrase that has been wiggling free in my brain is out with the old. Since my children were indulging in rageous strep throat over the holidays, they ran rather high fevers. As is typical of them, they have grown during the past two weeks as a result of or despite the fever. I have been sorting shoes, jackets, trousers and shirts. I shuffle them from closet to closet and finally to box. Some of the clothes will be new to the next one down the line while others are only fit for the trash. Why is it that children are so hard on clothes in this house? Out with the old...especially since Christmas brought new outfits to grow into.

Out with the old 2011 stuff. I worked today and sifted through my office. I filed copious amounts of paperwork that probably had been in the filing folder for at least four months. I ran virus detection programs. I copied photos to disks. In short, I filed away 2011. It was tedious, but refreshing. I think there is ten pounds less paper weighting down the desk anyway. And, my computer might run a little better with all those photographs stored elsewhere. Sale signs also went up at work. The gift shop is cheerfully offering a discount to anyone that wishes to purchase stuff so that we don't have to count it. I have to agree that it is a great idea. Who wants to count inventory? I'd rather buy it myself come to think of it. No...out with the old...make way for the new. New stuff...new stuff...new stuff?

It is going to be an interesting year too. Out with some of the old friends as they move onwards from this Northern climate and in with the new friends that I meet as I go about my day. My mother always used to sing "make new friends, but keep the old...one is silver and the other gold." I find that living up here, people are very transient. I rather like that one of my new friends referred to herself as sticky. Sticky. She sticks to the people that she meets. I really appreciate that. Sometimes, I try too hard to hang onto what was in a friendship and fail to appreciate what is. So perhaps that is another way to let go of the old...Amazing what late night ramblings can come up with, isn't it?

It is also time for that after Christmas self check in. You look in the mirror and realize that the gluttony of Christmas is upon you. Literally. 5 pounds for me (read mother's shortbread, mother's roasted potatos, mother's turkey, mother's nanaimo bar, Bailey's, Frangelico, Wine, and in short....a food festival) which isn't bad considering that I wasn't really able to be as active as normal. So, it is back to the grind of the gym, dance and walking. I sure hope that the trying to bust out of myself isn't as painful as I think it might be. However, squeezing into too tight clothes is painful and I refuse to get to that point....so back to the habits I go. Round one was tonight and was successful. I just hope that the trend continues. For the record, I totally envy the naturally slim people in my life. Chocolate...you are the devil.

I think that the largest problem that I have is that I can make meaning out of any object, any letter, any artwork. I like clutter surrounding me and I adore my books. Photographs and toys and teas and projects can be found. I like candles and ornamentation too. Sadly, in my closet you can still find remnants of the 16 year old me, the 23 year old me, 30 year old me and the oh I liked that too me. I have such a hard time tossing out clothing that might still be useful one day. Oh yes, I am the "it might come in handy" person. I hate to throw things out just in case it might be needed once in about 20 years. My closet has words for me. "Get stuffed" and "where do you think you are going to fit that?" and "Would you like to see the floor anytime soon". Out with the old...I have to do it. And since the heart sped up and the blood pressure rose at that thought - we will hand the reins over to my other favorite personality trait: PROCRASTINATION. Which is also why I am pondering life instead of sleeping.

Besides...I might disturb the sock gremlins. They live in that closet. I am convinced.

Dinner Shennanigans: The Art of Being Random

Accidents are sometimes the best thing. I could be totally bent out of shape, but instead, I had a wonderful funfilled evening of terrible British humor, Big Bang Theory, crazy children that actually behaved and a dinner that worked out well. The thing is that I had invited some friends for dinner. My friends have just moved back and don't really know everyone, but I thought it would be nice to have a traditional family Sunday Dinner.

Dinner consisted of ham, asparagus, potatoes, carrots, and my kids favorite beets. Beets are a favorite for all the wrong reasons but at least they eat them. I was pretty impressed with myself. There were no smoke alarms. Nothing was burnt, and the wine was very yummy. The house was cleaned and table set and prepared.

Now this is my world. You know by now that nothing is really this simple. During prep time, I had an additional child added to the repetoire. There was a queen who needed to assist the cleaning process (think Cinderella meets batman and you might get there). I witnessed dancing and singing. There were at least 5 costume changes. But then the not my kid my kid got concerned that she didn't seem to have her own adult. At that moment, the phone rang and I learned that one of her adults had been exploring the possibilities of having his back bumper rearranged. So, the not my kid my kid was informed that an adult would arrive asap, but in the meantime, she knew she would be loved and fed just like my own. Off she went for the next game (Zhu zhus meet tinkerbell).

So, 5:30 came and went and I started to wonder where the dinner guests were. Dinner was pretty much done and I was relieved to see my friends and entourage show up. Children were fed first, as there is only so much room at the table. However, that group of friends was not the original invitee. We laughed, drank cupcakes (see cupcakes, california 2009) and toasted friendship. Once the kids were fed and the not my kid my kids mommy showed up to rescue a concerned little mite, the adults sat down and ate.

The best part was after dinner. Everyone just chilled and relaxed. We watched random episodes of TV and made fun of each other until everyone was done with both food, laughter and children. After all, sooner or later the children decide that they are too tired to be nice anymore and they become "others," those nasty beasts from the nether world. So, they are off to bed and the guests are off home. I have had a good evening...but I wonder what happened to our original guests? I guess they forgot. Sometimes, random acts of friendship can be the most rewarding!

Friendship: Those Fine Lines

Friendship is something that I take very seriously. I would be lost without my friends: their support, their wisdom and their humour. I love to laugh and spend time with my "peeps". Some friends are close enough to be considered family. Others drift in the wind with threads that can be picked up at a moments notice. There are those that can share my day to day life and there are those that breeze through for intimate and fulfilling moments in time. The variety of my friendships is stimulating and rewarding. Sometimes, I just wish the groups of friends that I have could all gel together and get along.

It's a funny world out there. I have my scrapbooking playmates, the dance moms, the church crowd, the long time friends that I have met while up here and the friends I meet elsewhere and click with. There are the friends that I grew up with and the friends that I went to school with at all levels. There are the friends to hooligant with and those that prefer dessert evenings and those that love a drop in visit. All unique individuals that offer something special that blends with my personality. However, it would be interesting if they were all in a room together as I don't think that they would all get along.

I do my very best to be a good friend. Someone who is there for anything and everything so long as I can make it work. If someone needs space, I will give it. I have been known to have someone not talk to me for months and then ask for a favor that I will complete, no questions asked. If you are annoyed with me, I tend to apologize first and think about it afterwards. In conflict, I would rather have peace than be right. Sometimes I will give too much, and sometimes I will be too tired to notice. But there are those fine lines...

1) Be reasonable. Don't ask for more than someone can do.
2) Always ask for what you need, but be Ok with a "no" response. I promise that I will have a good reason behind it. Most often, I will say yes.
3) Don't assume that I know what you are thinking. I am busy and often functioning in chaos. I like chaos. I understand that most people do not. However, if there is something important that I need to know, take the time to tell me.
4) I do best with quality time spent in small groups. Not everyone does. Know and appreciate your "peeps" for the value that they place in your life and don't sweat the small stuff.
5) No one is perfect, especially me. But everyone is loved perfectly, so long as you are willing to accept it.
6) Treasures. Each person offers a special gift and insight. These are like pots of gold, very shiny, very expensive and not to be taken lightly.
7) Be spontaneous. Visits don't have to be long. A delivered cup of coffee in the doorway is always better than no visit at all. Some people just don't have the time.
8) Be patient. Patience is a virtue...I don't have a lot myself and am often cultivating it. Sometimes, life gets too busy and the little things get dropped. Remember to pick them up again and be willing to start afresh when needed.
9) Facebook and social media is connecting you to the outside world. Use it wisely. Just because you are creeping people through their status updates doesn't mean that they know you care unless you write messages. I have seen so many people get lonely through this phenomena. Write messages, poke people, say "allo".
10) Accept people's boundaries. Not everyone can be like me or you. So meet everyone in the space that they are at and move forward from there. Some people don't have boundaries. Put them in place if you need them.

Yep, there is my thought process for the day. It took a 1:30 am call from someone worried about me. I love that girl to death and her life isn't a bed of roses at this time either. But she cared enough to call, when logic would have said to not call. She lifted me up into a place where I knew that no matter what...she was there. It got me to thinking that I truly am blessed and have some of the best network of friends a lass could have. I just hope that I am worthy of your friendship. Know that I appreciate you all, and that I will do the best I can with the tools I have in my head and heart.

With that...good night.

Milestones

Everybody has milestones in their lives. These are rites of passage and they are those events that are special to individuals. These are events that are unique to individuals. It is that unique experience that stands out as a highlight of a birth, graduation, job placement, special day, special memory and so on.

Have you ever thought about the impact that these milestones have? Yes, they are an individual thing that if an individual chooses not to advertise, can easily be overlooked and/or most often forgotten. Some people, like me, like to celebrate birthdays and recognize these rights of passage. I just finished throwing a massive party for my soon to be 6 year old. To me, these are joyous occasions that are a time to get together people that matter for an event that matters.

However, I have just had the pleasure of celebrating a friends birthday as well. We had a wonderful visit and a great evening out. I admit, I like to give presents that celebrate the individual. But I have to confess that I relied on facebook to remind me. While facebook seemed to serve as the main point of reminder for many to wish her a happy birthday...it seems that those people that maybe should have remembered forgot.

Just because birthdays and anniversaries and special days might not matter to some personality types, it would be wise to remember that there are those that genuinely need the acknowledgement. Sometimes, it is the ones that don't say much about events that appreciate it the most. Flowers, a card, a phone call that comes on time can be the best gifts. Spending time with someone can be a real treat and not a chore.

Take the time to build positive memories with each other. Simple things that can make someone's day brighter. Remember the milestones...and don't think that it doesn't matter. I have a family that doesn't do well with the dates but note that I do the best I can with the tools I have to remember your milestones. It also helps to post the reminders if they matter. It is also Ok to be upset when someone important forgets. I appreciate those little things. So, thank you to those that made my birthday special. Thank you to those that made little tich's day great and thanks for those things that are yet to come. I can't wait to make more special memories with all of you!

Friendship

Over the summer, I have had time to reflect on my friendships. I have had some amazing friendships over the years and feel very blessed. This summer it was absolutely fabulous to drive and reconnect with people that I don't have the ability to see all the time. Yet, I was sad to have not seen many that I would love to see. You know you are missed in my life, but I had to think of the driving times and the children.

So, why the blog? I am fascinated by the twists and turns of friendship. Having driven for hours, I was welcomed by friends that dropped their busy schedules to make time to see me. I don't really have a overinflated ego, but it was flattering to know that I mattered enough for people to make time for me. I was also forgiven freely for not making my way to Victoria to see those folk there. The amazing part of going home is knowing that the threads are there to be picked up. The sights and sounds are familiar, but what makes home real and brilliant to the memories are the people that you connect with. Why bother if that is not the case? So, know that you my friends are appreciated.

I am also fascinated by the way that I can pick up the conversations and blend into the landscape as though no time has passed. I appreciated being able to feel like I had never been absent. These are the real friendships of which people speak. I could catch up on the gossip, and see growth and development. Within that is the fabric of timeless art, the words that don't need to be spoken and are just understood. Yes, going home has joy.

Then, there is the friend that is willing to travel to meet me in all my wayward travels. She and I have a compatible friendship that allows us to travel and converse freely about everything. Not all friends can or should travel together. There are arguments, hidden agendas, different interests and varied energy levels amongst some friends that travel together. I have been blessed to know a couple of friends that I can travel with and have that amazing relationship that is a compatible traveller that I know now, I could travel the world with. These are the friends that are compassionate, flexible and adventurous. Friends that know what you need prior to asking and fit into my world without me having to make an effort. Love you much...you know who you are.

Now there is the benefit of friendships within families. Having spent time with my family, it was lovely to rediscover how much we genuinely like each other and like spending time together. There is the way that we pull together in crises and how accepting we are of each other's likes and dislikes. Because we are family, there is no censored opinions either and yet, we all had fun. You are well loved.

Then, there are the friends that open their door and never make you feel like you are incoveniencing them. There was much food and wine, hot tubs and chit chat. Animals and mayhem... These friendships that have their roots in hospitality are very appreciated. I just hope that all my friends that cross my door feel as welcomed as I did when I crossed each of yours. There is the sense of family without blood ties. Fabulous.

Then, there are your friendships that intertwine with your daily life. I love the text messages, phone calls, visits and knowing that I can count on each of you to brighten my days and add the flavor. Each one of you has the ability to add a different dimension to my sense of self. I can be open and honest and share my life without feeling a need to be a different me. (People that ask that are not friends - they are spectators that don't get the play). I like knowing that I come back to a place where people care enough and are pleased that I blend into their world.

Facebook and social media have brightened my life as well. I have been able to connect with so many folks through this. Some people have become friends that I value after meeting them virtually. This is amazing, but I also have the opportunity to stay in touch with people that are far away. I enjoy this immensely.

Where am I going with this? I want all my friends to know that I love you and I appreciate you. I love what I can do for you and what you have done for me. Here's a toast "This Tim's is dedicated to you!"